Listen to the audio or read below for the transcript. This episode is 8 minutes long.
Happy Tuesday, lovely! I’m Andreea, your host here on The Introvert That Could Podcast. Every episode is a mix of tips on productivity, time management, and how to move forward when you’re stuck, with a sprinkle of motivation and a side of relevant personal stories. I want you to have all the tools and support you need to face the challenges of being an introvert and take action, because without action, there are no results. Let’s dive in!
Welcome to episode 13!
If you want to be successful in any area, this is a skill you must master. Because you will get into situations where you have a make a choice, even if you’re not 100% sure it’s a right one. Sometimes you don’t have all the information, sometimes the logical decision won’t feel good, sometimes pros and cons lists will be absolutely useless because 50/50 doesn’t help anyone.
Last time I made a list, everything was pointing to a certain option, but it was totally against my intuition, and I went with my intuition.
In the last year, I had to make a lot of decisions. And I learned very fast that staying stuck costs both time and money, so I need to develop this skill as fast as possible.
In this episode, I’ll give you all my tools for when you’re stuck in indecision.
First of all, you have to accept that there are no right or wrong decisions. You’re probably not making a choice from fear that it’s not the correct one. But at the same time, you are making a choice! You’re choosing to stay where you are. If you’re happy where you are, there’s no point in tormenting yourself, you can drop it altogether. But if you’re not, the first step you need to take is to move away from the current situation. And that means change, on whichever path.
There are no right or wrong decisions.
Let’s say option A takes 1 month to implement. Option B also take one month to implement. But you’re not sure and you let a full month pass by without taking any action. So one month later, you’re still in the same spot. However, what if you pick option A and implement it? But It doesn’t work though. You do everything you can, but it doesn’t produce the wanted results. One month later? Time has passed, but now you know where to go. You have information, you have experience, you left your old circumstances, and you upleveled your decision making skill.
From now on, you can go on and implement option B, which again, might or might not work. But that’s not the point. If you don’t try, you won’t know. Usually my strategy if I don’t have a strong preference for one of the options, is to pick one and go with it. I do my best to make it a success, and if it still doesn’t work, at least I know.
I don’t mind failure, I consider it important. If you win all the time, if everything you try is a success, you learn nothing. You can’t grow if you don’t fail. See it as a game, if you don’t have any challenges it will be very boring, and a level up won’t give you any satisfaction.
You can’t grow if you don’t fail.
Moving on, there are a series of questions you can ask to tune into your intuition, and get an answer that’s more aligned with you and discover some of your fears.
- If all options were widely successful, the best of the best results possible, if you knew that none of them can fail, which one would you go for? You can spend some time here imagining what success would look like for all your choices, and pick the future you would like to live in. This exercise will also give you a map – if you know exactly where you’re going, you’ll be able to plan how to get there. But be prepared to make another thousand decision on the way, and change paths many times. But believe that success is inevitable, you just have to find the way to get there.
- If money wasn’t a problem, which one would you pick? This one can show you what you truly want. I had times when I didn’t buy anything at all, because I realized that the only reason why I would pick one over the other was because it’s cheaper, but it doesn’t interest me. If I want the more expensive option, but I can’t make it work financially, I won’t settle for something less because it doesn’t give me the value I need.
- What is your gut telling you? Is it nausea or butterflies? Some scenarios just won’t feel right. But you have to be able to make the distinction between lack of alignment and fear. Fear is ok, being nervous about it is ok, but going against your values is not.
- Is this in alignment with the future you’re working towards? This can also make you see if your choices are fear based. If that’s true, you will tend to sabotage yourself to stay where you are or away from that path you think you want, but you’re avoiding.
- Will it make you grow? If it doesn’t require any change from you, if it doesn’t force you to become a better version of you, why bother?
- What’s the worst that can happen? I talked about this one in detail in Episode 7, Fear of failure, that I’ll link in the notes, but the short version is this: you ask the question until you can’t anymore. What’s the worst that can happen? And then what? And then what? And so on, until you reach the bottom – might be death, homelessness, bankruptcy, divorce, I don’t know what’s worst for you. But you’ll be able to see how many steps you have until you get there, how unlikely it is, what can you do to avoid it, how low on the line you’re willing to go, and find solutions for each scenario.
- And last one. Fear of failure is understandable, but did you know you can be afraid of success? I did this exercise for myself not long ago because I was procrastinating a project and didn’t know why. What can be the negative consequences of your success?What do you think will happen if everything works out just the way you want it to? To give you my example, I was afraid that if I am as successful as I want, I can’t be a good mom at the same time. I will also have a lot of responsibility and have to deliver a lot of value to the people I serve and constantly be there for them. Once I uncovered these fears, I was able to create a plan. I realized that if I am as successful as I want to be, I will have a whole support system around me, I won’t be on my own anymore, and I can make it happen on my terms. Because if it’s not by my own design, that’s not success for me.
This was it for this episode, but if you want to continue the conversation, I’d love to hear from you! Comment here or find me on Facebook and Instagram. But the best thing you can do is sign up for the Life Lesson Letter, the weekly email I send out every Thursday with new content and insider-only freebies and details. Sign up now and you’ll get instant access to all available goodies, including the latest PDF “From overwhelm to taking action: 6 steps to find more time in your day, declutter your to-do list and get things done“. Just go to coachmeamazing.com/lifelessonletter
Thanks so much for being here and I’ll catch you on the next one! Have an amazing day!